Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
