omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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