he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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