The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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