i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
