I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
