What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
