We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize