Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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