why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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