Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize