I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
