i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
