Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize