They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
