Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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