Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
