Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize