I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
