I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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