just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
