i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
