you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
