Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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