Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
