Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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