The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
