Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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