p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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