well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
