I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
