I cannot find my penis.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize