So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
