I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
