I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
