my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
