fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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