R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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