If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I understand Curling. That high.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
