just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
