You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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