Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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