i just google imaged poop.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
