he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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