Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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