happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
