Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
