he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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