lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
