the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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