so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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