Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
