My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
