organizing the empties. That sober.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
