I wanna bring you to show and tell
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
