then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
