So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
