Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
