Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
