brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
