Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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