what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
