i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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