I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
