You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
