all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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