I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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