OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
