all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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